ve handojo

Dear Infotainment

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:47:12 GMT

Dear Infotainment,

You are funny, you are entertaining, and sometimes - when you're in your best mood - informative as well. We love to laugh with you, and at you. We also love to get upset with you, and - when you're in your worst mood - at you.

I am sorry that Luna Maya has mentioned that you are worse than prostitutes and murderers. I believe she has the rights to be upset, yet I don't believe than revealing such painful truth is a lovable move of hers.

I am also sorry that you are defended by the very tired, God-knows-what-for organization called PWI (Persatuan Wartawan Indonesia). I believe the post-power syndrome display has made your name even worse than it has already been.

You have been born in the era of celebrity culture. When people love to peek at their idol's daily life, you have become their eyes and ears. (Not their heart, though.) Thanks to some celebrities who open doors to welcome your poorly trained reporters and cameramen, you have grown as a big baby, showered with a big chunk of marketing and promotion budget from advertisers. You have made your parents - those TV stations and channels - proud. You are so young, uneducated, yet you can bring so much revenue to the showbiz family.

Some celebrities might have been so desperate that they even welcome you to their bedrooms. These are people who have nothing inside their head, so they can only show what they have under their skirts.

Thanks to this kind of celebrities, you grow to believe that without you, artists - vocalists, musicians, actors, actresses, supermodels, etc - can not be "big".

Dear Infotainment, I hate to tell you this truth, but here you go: You are not God.

Real artists have real talents. Long before the ridiculous word "infotainment" invented, we have already known Christine Hakim, Jenny Rachman, Rano Karno, Roy Marten, Onky Alexander, and many many many more. We were, are, and will be fine without you.

Long before you start invading promotional and marketing events (e.g. Gala Premieres, Album Launches, etc.) only to look for raunchy gossips, we have scored big success in selling and introducing creative works to the public and audience.

So, what makes you think that we need you? What makes you think we owe you? You were born because big talents were born, then you've turned them into "celebrities" - a label that is not necessary at all, and often mistaken as "freaks".

Yes, Infotainment, even a freakish moron can be in TV these days, thanks to your bad taste! An ex-wife of a vocalist who became such a drama queen and thought she could act in a movie? Now, that's the kind of "artist" who would happily invite you to reveal the color of the underwear she's wearing.

Dear Infotainment,

A few of you has done a good job, and I know "good job" often means "lower rating", and that's not making Father TV pleased. Kudos, and you are well appreciated! Yet, many of you are taking the easy way, and it is - sorry to say - very prostitution-ish. It's like, "Oh, my mother in the village is sick, so here I am, selling my pussy to pay for her medication."

"If we don't make up stories, or manipulate the footage to tell misleading news, or even make fake recordings, then we will not have sensational news to sell, then ratings will go down, advertisers stop giving the money, Father TV will be upset, then our program will be killed, and we will lose our job!" That's your best excuse?

Come on, Infotainment, stop being a drama queen! If you want to spend more time in brainstorming, and learn from E! Channel, and are daring enough to challenge your Producers and Advertisers, then you can come up with a much better programming.

What, are you blaming most of your audience that are not "smart" enough to chew good programs? Darling, if you have a baby who cannot walk, will you tell her to keep on crawling on the floor for the rest of her life? Will you not tell her how to walk? Will you not encourage your audience - most of them in rural areas of our country, with no formal education, low income, living a humble life where gossiping about Luna Maya with neighbors is a staple thing to do - to learn to appreciate people more?

Don't you think broadcasting positive news of a celebrity's life is "selling a dream" as well? Or, do you think the divorce of a certain celebrity couple is a dream to sell?

I cannot totally put the blame on you, Infotainment. This is a chaotic system that needs time to reconcile. Yet, when people are pointing at you, and saying that you are lower that prostitutes and murderers, you know what ... the statement bears a high level of truth. You have been selling your soul to the Rating Devil.

It's all about choices, really. To say that you can't do anything about it means to show that you are weak. And, when you chose to be weak, please don't try to judge someone who's trying to be strong.

You can chose to leave the chaotic system. You can chose the harder way. You can chose to shift your talents somewhere else. For example, cameramen: do wedding videos. Why not? You will become a part of many people's happy day, and the money can be very good if you are really putting your heart into it. Reporters, you can always find something else to do. Always. Read many kinds of magazines, and you'll find plenty of opportunities there.

You can chose to make your life not out of other people's private lives. You can chose to have a heart. (And when you don't want to chose to have a heart, that will be the end of you.)

The Coffee Headache

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:26:27 GMT

Coffee joints mushroom all across the country, but how come they generate more headache than inspirations?

Java Dancer's barista, Andri Gunawan, at work. Cappuccino (left) and Piccolo Latte (right) are among his best works.

My favorite Starbucks story was first told by a friend of mine who was a barista in the Plaza Indonesia branch, back then when the American coffee chain first invaded this country. In the most stylish, sometimes pretentious, mall in Indonesia, a 30-something lady carrying the newest Louis Vuitton bag came to the counter, gazing at the menu and price list posted above. She was wondering how a simple drink called coffee could be more expensive than a bottle of Evian. So, she decided to give Starbucks the very first try by choosing the cheapest item.

"Can I have one Additional Shot of Espresso, please?"

My friend patiently explained that to get that "item", the lady should order her main drink first. Nodding in full agreement, she moved to the second cheapest drink, which was a shot of espresso. She paid, and agreed to wait in the pick-up corner � surely after being told that nobody will bring her order to "that sofa by the window".

She was then stunned to find out how small her coffee drink was. Upon finding out that the milk was free � not anymore, now � she asked for a much bigger mug, poured all of her tiny espresso there, then filled the mug with milk. Happily, she sat by the window, letting passers by to gaze at her Louis Vuitton and "espresso".

Indonesia's very own coffee culture is this sophisticated fix that we take every time we need to go on a graveyard shift � security officers on late night patrol, college students doing their final assignments, fathers gambling on chess boards with neighbors � and it's called kopi tubruk. The simple ground coffee with hot water was best taken with banana fritters, dip fried cassava roots, while wearing only your GT-Man underwear and sarong. Obviously stated through advertising campaigns of Kapal Api, Torabika, and other local coffee brands that caffeine and machismo came hand in hand.

The '90s gave way for caf� culture from "other parts of the world", a.k.a. Singapore, to mushroom in big cities across Indonesia. So, we started to learn that there was this thing called cappuccino, and � yes! � you actually could have "iced cappuccino" no matter how illogical it might sound. Foam of milk with ice cube � yes, that might work. Genius.

The caf� culture simply told us to stop wearing only cheap undies while drinking your coffee, and start putting fancier labels. It also revealed to us that � hoooray! � it's legal to drink coffee during daylight! Goodbye cheap banana fritters, and hello tiramisu (cake)!

Riding on this wave, Starbucks arrived in Jakarta, and lifted the caf� culture one level up � or, so we thought. Indonesians were told that coffee shops do not sell nasi goreng, fried chicken, or oxtail soup. (Very) slowly we learned that doppio espresso means double shot, but not double the price, and "iced cappuccino" is a retarded term. We learned more about latte, macchiato, and frappuccino killed the then booming bubble tea business. The Americans have taught us about coffee as much as about pizza through that bakery called Pizza Hut.

We were startled then when our European friends saw us in disgust as we bloated ourselves with those frappuccino. To our further shock, Starbucks had closed so many stores worldwide, and mushrooming only in Asian cities. How come there is www.ihatestarbucks.com?

Fewer and more independent joints serve coffee the European way. The Segafredo chains, growing in a moderate pace, sticks to do it the Italian way. Local La Tazza � branches found in some unlikely spots like Mal Ambassador and Electronic City Building in Jakarta � reaches to a niche market who gets what is Cappuccino Scurro.

Aficionados and puritans know that cappuccino is only good before lunch, and Lavazza is way better than tasteless Illy. True enthusiasts also remind us how Indonesia is a land of handsome and gorgeous coffee, so why bother doing it the American or even European way? Why can't we be like Vietnam with their own coffee, and where the local Highlands Coffee chain is loved more than anything else? They don't need frappuccino there, since the Vietnamese dripping coffee has become an export commodity. (While we're at it, no, Dante's Coffee and Vietiopia, Vietnamese dripping coffee does not always come with ice cubes!)

Bakoel Koffie has been serving Indonesian coffee since long, but their effort to do "cappuccino" and "macchiato" has been proven bland. Their basic black is the most recommended one on the blackboard menu. Tornado Coffee and Anomali are favorites among the young creative forces in Jakarta looking for their caffeine fix.

Meanwhile, Java Dancer in Malang, East Java, has received not less than five hardcore coffee addicts who flew from other cities only to taste their cuppa. The house blend is slowly infiltrating F&B outlets of many levels in Jakarta, while their kopi luwak received high praise in Europe.

Initiated by three true caffeine junkies � a master roaster with a degree from USA, a Lavazza-certified chief barista, and a notorious cupper � the Java Dancer coffee depot, just right opposite Tugu Hotel Malang, now is overflowing with guests, and fully booked all week long. Their single origins come only from Indonesia with the exception of Timor Leste. Their highest level of product, the kopi luwak, is a sold out in the supermarket counters, including Bali.

After a long way round, we are back to our roots: the Indonesian way. You can do it anytime, you can wear anything, and you don't need to flaunt it. It's good to know the basic of our own coffee culture � which is actually not much different with anywhere in the world. Yet, it is costly to pretend.

Let's get things straight. Do you simply need coffee as part of your fashion? Go to Starbucks. Do you simply need to stay all night long? Fix your own kopi tubruk. Do you want to worship caffeine? Do it the Italian way. If you want to mix everything, every culture, please don't get mixed up.

My second favorite Starbucks story was something I witnessed myself. Midnight, a group of teenagers invaded a 24-hour Starbucks, holding their credit cards, craving for a "buy one get one" treat � the only way they could afford to catch up with the latest Starbucks fever. The barista informed them that the promo was only valid for frappuccino. Since it was a cold December night, these teenagers nodded, but, "Can we have some hot frappuccino?" Headache!

As published in FRV October/November 2009 issue.

Color Up the Spring 2010!

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:58:51 GMT

The Pale-Harmonic
Come Spring 2010, it's blooming pale shades for men. So, hit those treadmills, add the push-ups, and work those abs! If you wanna go white, you better keep it hot in shape!

Louis Vuitton | Paul Smith | Viktor & Rolf | Marc Jacobs | Maison Martin Margiela | Versace | Jil Sander | Herm�s

Into the Blue
Aqua splash appears in runways, suggesting cool and fresh as the chosen themes. Go bright on sunny day, go soft for a romantic mood, and go deep for an elegant evening in the park. Blue dominates the mind of almost every designer for the Spring 2010.

Marc by Marc Jacobs | Tommy Hilfiger | Michael Kors | Gucci | Calvin Klein | Commes des Gar�ons

Issey Miyake | Patrik Ervell | Rag & Bone | Bottega Veneta | Iceberg | Etro

Yellow Glow Glow
As if to balance the coolness of blue, shouting - and sometimes neon - yellow is also beamed through the major runways. Gentlemen are advised to be brighter, stronger, and more cheerful.

Marc by Marc Jacobs | Ralph Lauren | Michael Bastian | Louis Vuitton | Lacoste | Salvatore Ferragamo

Blazing Red
Besides the domination of blue and yellow, red dots also appear in some of the major runways, giving Spring 2010 extra heat. Many suggest to safely pair red with black, and some go extreme to paint the whole body in that passionate tone. Me likey.

John Varvatos | Issey Miyake | Bottega Veneta | Gucci | Y-3 | Marc by Marc Jacobs

Reaching for the Green
Okay, green is my personal color, so I'm reaching to feature this color - I must admit. Green is almost nowhere to be found but Etro's stage where every color is celebrated. It even escapes Issey Miyake's colorful palette! What a blasphemy! My love for green has very little thing to do with this eco-whatever movement (though I support them wholeheartedly). So, here it is ... just to keep my faith that the world is better look green.

Iceberg | Etro | Giorgio Armani | Costume National | Band of Outsiders | Michael Bastian

Images from men.style.com

FPI (Fucked-up Protectors of Islam) vs. Miyabi

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:24:51 GMT

FPI - or Fucked-up Protectors of Islam - protests over just another insignificant thing: the involvement of Japanese sexy idol Maria "Miyabi" Ozawa in an upcoming Indonesian film production. The gang of brainless thugs invaded the office of Maxima Pictures - the film production company - and ridiculously (to no surprise, due to the absence of braincells inside their empty heads) begged the producers to replace Miyabi with local actress Luna Maya.

FPI - the self-acclaimed moralists - has never cursed Jakarta bombings, never taken any part in helping the victims of earthquakes in many parts of this country, but religiously spreads terrors in nightclubs, bars, pubs, only to collect "security fee". In the name of Islam and "God", FPI has been enriching themselves and gradually become unofficial shareholders of those nightclubs, bars, pubs, and other "indecent" places. FPI is the epitome of hypocrisy, the biggest joke in Indonesia, and every member of them should be beheaded.

Can We Ever Get Enough of Him?

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 22:13:14 GMT

By this time the article is published, you may have got to the point of screaming, "Enough of MJ! He's dead!" Is he?

Facebook, Twitter and Google almost broke down when the news and tweets around Michael Joseph Jackson's death flooded the internet on June 25. Those who are around 35 to 45 years old were held in disbelief, shocked, and even deep mourn. The younger generation, though, took it no more than just another CNN Breaking News, and hoped the media frenzy would soon be over, to replace the slots with Lady Gaga's music video.

Why is the suspected child molester so important? Why is the loss of this weird looking, neither-black-nor-white, neither-man-nor-woman creature being grieved over so deeply? What's so special with that high-pitch squealing vocal, and lame 80's-style disco moves?

Ask it to any African, and chances are you will get slapped on your face. They will remind you that once this moonwalker collaborated with Lionel Richie to write "We are the World" � sung by the biggest names in that era, sold over 7 million copies, and the benefits proceeded for famine-relief in their continent. That song had brought global awareness of the sufferings in Africa, even to the most ignorant teenager in the suburb of Iowa.

Ask it to any music producer, and chances are you will get a lecture on pop-music history. They will remind you how the boy who got whipped by his father's leather belt to practice his vocal and moves had released in 1982 � the best-selling solo album in music history. Ever. It was sold 104 million copies, with the title track remained No. 1 in music chart for 37 weeks in total. The music video of "Beat It" was the first one by African-American artist to appear on MTV � making Jackson "the Obama of music industry".

Ask it to any modern day world leaders, and chances are you will be forced to listen to "Man in the Mirror". They will make you repeat the chorus again, and again: "I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways �. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change!" Written and sung when Jackson reached the very peak of his career and life, the song displays his most powerful vocals and technique to bring the most accessible social statements that won't stop echoing for decades.

Jackson may have fallen so far from his throne, but the crown of King of Pop will never find another head. He's touched many, and sometimes got too literal, but who are we to judge a man whose efforts mattered so much to the world, and had inspired global icons, spiritual leaders, international artists, and musicians and performers like Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, Craig David, and the likes? Before you address any kind of judgement, take a look at the man in your mirror, and ask him what he has done for the world, and millions of its population.

This is the unedited version of the article published in Maximillian magazine August/September 2009 issue

So So Saigon

Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:54:53 GMT

It's very hard for me to find a good reason to come back to Saigon again after this trip. This is an emerging city - perhaps with a better urban planning than home. Another third-world late bloomer embracing modernity inside shopping malls. Out in the streets are drivers and riders who couldn't care less to slow down for a zebra cross. Objects of attractions were mediocre, museums poorly managed and maintained, and street food generally not as good as in Hanoi.

My room in Park Hyatt Saigon, the Saigon Opera House, The Post Office, and finally the Cathedral.

I did find some interesting spots, though. Well, I have to admit that my fabulous Park Hyatt Saigon hotel was excellent, flawless, and elegant. It's located basically in the very heart of the city, next to Saigon Opera House. Add a bit of walking and you'd find The Post Office - a very old building that still works. It was an amazing building; a perfect setting for a fashion shoot, with the best souvenir shop that I found in town.

Homey and classic The Refinery and its panna cotta with strawberry and passion fruit dressing, then the by-the-street Creperie & Coffee with its Cr�pe Suzette and Lavazza coffee.

I didn't get the time to check out the Cathedral but it didn't look interesting enough for a visit. However, in the back of this building I found a savory heaven simply named Cr�perie & Coffee. The Cr�pe Suzette was downright refreshing, delightful, and mouthwatering, and best paired with their Lavazza coffee. This patio style place is made romantic with the paper lanterns, and its location across a green lane in 5 Han Thuyen, District 1.

The Refinery in Hai Ba Trung street is a stictly casual diner with a classy touch. For a relatively cheap price, you could score a big and delicious dinner. There was a 30-minutes black out while I was there, but that wasn't a big deal. Waiters still took care of me and other diners pretty nicely.

Coffee and dried fruits in Ben Thanh market, then garments, fabrics, and tea in Binh Tay market.

Meanwhile, Ben Thanh market is a tourist trap. Bargain as low as half of the price being mentioned by the shopkeepers, please. Great finds here were Vietnamese coffee, tea, and dried fruits. Sellers can be very aggressive. Do not take a taxi right outside this market. I repeat: Do not take a taxi right outside Ben Thanh market. They are criminals.

Outside the touristy area, Binh Tay market is not much different, but with wider range of products, including garments and fabrics. The arrangement is actually better than Ben Thanh, but as this is a traditional market mostly geared towards the locals, it was tougher to deal with. Go there also for the tea and coffee.

Photos by Ve Handojo

Over Halong Bay

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:24:46 GMT

To reach Halong Bay, I took a three-hour ride from Hanoi to Halong City - a tiny spot getting mentioned in a very detailed local map just as a starting line for both amateur and professional explorers who come to see that particular one of the UNESCO Heritage Sites.

Bhaya Cruises is a respectable company - not the most luxurious one, I'll have to say - and they will take us to an impeccable experience of having a breakfast among the majestic karst formations.

My preferred way to sail around the Bay was by boarding one of the Bhaya Cruises, a remake of a classic imperial ship being used by Emperor-cum-Traveller Khai Dinh (1885-1925). With twenty fully-equipped cabins, a diner, and a relaxing sundeck, the cruise ship is a perfect honeymoon ride to enjoy karst formations all over the 434 square-kilometers area.

Vung Vieng Fishermen Village opened my eyes that there's always another lifestyle somewhere out there.

Honestly, after the first few weirdly-shaped islets - most of them unhabitable - I just didn't care anymore to guess what's the name of each of them. The overnight trip was made more interesting when we visited the floating Vung Vieng fishermen village. I couldn't imagine what it's like to live there, but yes! They do live there. They have working phone line, television, internet, and a floating school, too. (I wonder what a fashion runway would look like there.)

The beautiful Halong Bay, and the full-of-surprise Sung Sot Cave.

We anchored somewhere in the dark to have an overnight rest. I couldn't care less to recall the stale dinner, but the breakfast was unforgettable. No, not because of what was in my plate, but mostly because of what was around me. Majestic karst formations guarded us in a misty, and foggy morning. It was surreal.

The water in Halong Bay was emerald clear. Combine it with a perfect blue sky, and you'll get a sampler of Paradise on Earth.

Before we headed back to the city, we visited Sung Sot Cave - a dramatically lit, large grotto that has three chambers. Quite an interesting walk we had, with less physical challenge than running on your treadmill. We reached Halong City back at noon.

Visit Halong Bay once, and that'll be enough. It's a unique honeymoon trip, but that's all. Photos by Ve Handojo.

Out and About: Hanoi

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 20:17:41 GMT

Water Puppet is a must-see show in Hanoi, while a trip to the peaceful Temple of Literature is among the to-do list. They have a very nice souvenir shop there.

Upon arriving in a cool morning, I found a similar atmosphere in Hanoi with the small towns in Java, such as Malang, Blitar, and Madiun. What makes it different is the French colonial touch in the architecture. My hotel, Sofitel Metropole Hanoi, is the embodiment of the chic influence. Pretty in white with fresh green louvres, it is considered the belle of the city.

A father and his daughter is enjoying the serenity of Hoan Kiem Lake. A happy toddler is having a free ride in a park.

Hanoi life is sprung from Hoan Kiem Lake around which people start their day with Taichi. Meanwhile, The Old Quarter is a maze filled with treasures like excellent lacquer paintings, homeware, and souvenirs. Fine silk at bargain prices are hunted not only by tourists, but also locals. Every evening, The Old Quarter is crowded, chaotic, noisy - it's simply alive. A sip of tasty Vietnamese coffee would be the perfect way to conclude a superb adventure in this area.

The teens practice breakdance, little kids roller-blading, and their folks playing badminton - all in Hanoi's cute and clean parks.

What I value most about Hanoi is the outdoor oriented lifestyle practiced by simply everyone in this city. No flashy shopping malls to keep the friendly Hanoians inside a so-called "comfort zone". Hanoians are not exposed to international brands or chain stores. They are all out in the streets; roller-skating, break-dancing, eating, playing badminton, having a first date, and so on.

Find Kem Trang Tien where Hanoians go crazy over cheap ice creams. In one of the little streets in The Old Quarter there is B�n Bo Nam Bo that sells only one meal: a portion of super-delicious ph� with beef.

Go to Hanoi for the original ph�, and the water puppet show, and the launching pad to Halong Bay.

NOTE: I flew AirAsia to go there, and it was a bad choice. They made me stop in a nonsense city called Kuala Lumpur for hours, and I had to get stuck in a lousier-than-shit-hole Low Cost Carrier Terminal in Kuala Lumpur International Airport. It was a traumatic experience.

Photos by Ve Handojo

"Kuntilanak" is Released in Japan in DVD Format

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:31:34 GMT

Grab one, grab one!

(Not) Just Another Black Autumn

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:50:47 GMT

Alexander McQueen | D&G | Raf Simons | Dior Homme | Hermes | Gareth Pugh | D&G | Gareth Pugh - men.style.com

Black is classic in the hands of Alexander McQueen, Raf Simons, Dior, and Hermes. Revisiting Oliver Twist, Alexander McQueen revives the power that survives through the age of depression. Two-toned Raf Simons jacket gives effective answer to being creatively timeless. D&G gives new weights to the word "tux", and gets tough when it comes to street wear jacket. My favorite is the what-if-Tim-Burton-remakes-The-Predator look that Gareth Pugh suggests to make the upcoming fall gloomy and glam at the same time.

Balenciaga | Diane von Furstenberg | Louis Vuitton | Oscar de la Renta | Louis Vuitton | Prada | Oscar de la Renta - style.com

Girls just wanna have fun, and ladies just wanna be glam, no matter how bad the global economy weather is projected to still be hanging. Balenciaga dresses smart women to the office, while Diane von Furstenberg gets sexy. Louis Vuitton suggests some ruffles, while Prada gets heavy. My personal favorite is the ever elegant Oscar de la Renta with killer heels.