Entry: Tweetionary 2010.07.20



Antisocial (adj.): 1. Averse to the society of others. 2. Many proclaim themselves so in Twitter ... to gain friends.

Avatar (n.): 1. The iconography of a Twitter account. 2. Misleading much.

Blog (n.): 1. Web-log, or web-based journal. 2. Abandoned after the invention of mini-blog, a.k.a. Twitter. 2. Not that much.

Buzz Agent (n.): 1. Hired to promote a product or event in Twitter. 2. First step of selling his/her soul.

Client (n.): 1. Those who pay you to do what you can't do. 2. Reason why your Twitter account is locked.

Coelho Girls (n.): 1. Ladies who are on Twitter to ReTweet @paulocoelho. 2. Falls for wrong men. 3. Desperate.

Detik.com (n.): 1. A portal with funny headlines. 2. Gets news from Twitter, then spread them there. 3. Mistaken as news portal.

Direct Message (n.): A booty call.

Ethics (n.): 1. To be applied and practiced by Indonesian Twitter users. 2. Sponsored by Tifatul Sembiring. 3. FUCK THAT!

Facebook (n.): 1. Forgotten past life of great Twitter users. 2. What is that again?

Fail Whale (n.): 1. Annoying creature that comes up when Twitter is down. 2. @gandrasta

Farh*t Abbas (n.): 1. A popular object of mockery in Twitterland. 2. Often mistaken as a human being.

Flood (n.): 1. Unstoppable serial tweets by a person. 2. Best comes with a hashtag. 3. Like this one.

to follow back (v.): 1. To stay humble, and follow back your followers. 2. Now, who came up with this idea?!

Foursquare (n.): 1. An application to help you tweet your recent location. 2. Popularity-wise; a parasite to Twitter.

Gandrasta Bangko (n.): The person behind @gandrasta; so racist, homo, and offensive, u should follow him before he's banned.

Gays (n.): 1. Follow other people's husbands. 2. Calculate their Followers all the time.

Grammar Nazi (n.): 1. One who corrects English grammar of our tweets. 2. Possibly Cinta Laura's dancers.

Hoax (n.): Fake news, easily spread in Twitter, e.g. "F*rhat Abbas has a brain."

Humanity (n.): The thing we fight together for, and tweet in one accord, using hashtags like #BubarkanFPI

Insecurity Syndrome (n.): A condition where someone asks "What's wrong with me?" every time s/he loses a follower.

Justin Bieber (n.): 1. A girl who once ruled Trending Topics for weeks. 2. Please don't ReTweet this.

Livetweet (n.): Tweets to report an event or occasion in real time, that can be as creative as "Goaaalll!" during #worldcup

Meeting (n.): 1. The activity you boast in Twitter to make you look busy and important. 2. Perfect time to tweet.

Moralist (n.): 1. Trying to keep Twitter free from bad influence. 2. Trying to make Olga Syahputra straight.

MyLoc (n.): 1. Short for "My Location", a link in Twitter to inform your recent location. 2. Designed exclusively for Osama.

+1 RT @VeHandojo: #tweetionary Narcissism (n.): 1. Excessive admiration of oneself. 2. ReTweets him/herself. (/via @VeHandojo)

Pedophilia (n.): 1. One who likes underage boys / girls. 2. Friendster users trying to be in Twitter.

Please RT  (phrase.): 1. Irritating plea by the end of a tweet to spread the contained message; be it moral or dumb. 2. Please RT.

Pseudo Politician (n.): 1. One who tweets his/her angst towards the country. 2. Synonim to "Lonesomeness".

Quotes (n.): 1. Words deemed wise enough to tweet, or retweet. 2. Show that you're deep. 3. Or, vulnerable. 4. Meh.

RT (n.): 1. Short for ReTweet, an act to duplicate a tweet, to spread a message, or a joke. 2. Mostly lame jokes.

RT Abuser (n.): 1. Those who use ReTweet instead of Reply to talk about mundane stuff. 2. Not you if you RT this tweet.

Real People (n.): 1. Human beings beyond Twitterland. 2. What you need only when Twitter is down.

Sarcasm (n.): 1. Easiest way to gain popularity in Twitter. 2. Easiest way to lose friends in real life.

Serial Tweets (n.): 1. Insightful and elaborate sharing of knowledge on a certain topic. 2. Often mistaken as Show Off 2.0

Sex (n.): The result of Following, ReTweeting, and getting the Direct Message.

Slactivist (n.): 1. Slacking activist. 2. People who think they can change the world only by Tweeting. 3. Seriously.

Social Media Entrepreneur (n.): 1. A person whose tweets depend on their clients. 2. Jobless Buzz Agent.

Timeline (n.): 1. Update of what's happening in Twitter. 2. Synopsis of #Inception. 3. Helps you survive a meeting.

Trending Topics (n.): 1. Most talked about issues in Twitter. 2. Confused as 'People Power' by many "slactivists".

Tweetionary (n.): 1. A certain someone's not-so-funny attempt to gain more followers. 2. Kthxbye.

Twitlonger (n.): 1. @UberTwitter's feature to help those who are so used to write long Facebook status lines they cannot put what they have in mind in 140 characters. 2. Annoying, isn't it?

Twitter Chat (n.): 1. Conversation in Twitter mostly around daily topics. 2. Free SMS.

Twitter Newbie (n.): 1. New in Twitter. 2. Ask "Fol back pls!" 3. [to be confirmed] @fitrop's father.

Twitter Police (n.): 1. Pretend authority who complains about RT abuse, Buzz Agents, etc. 2. Have too much free time.

to unfollow (v.): 1. Discreet act to stop following a Twitter account. 2. If you announce it, you're Indonesian.

Wikipedia (n.): An efficient tool to build your "smart" reputation on Twitter.

Writer (n.): A person who does research, surveys, self-marketing, and promotes his/her works in Twitter.

   11 comments

editor in chic
July 20, 2010   09:12 PM PDT
 
I LOVE YOU, Ve.
Lifejoy
July 21, 2010   02:28 AM PDT
 
+1 RT @editor_in_chic: I LOVE YOU, Ve.
VeLoVer
July 21, 2010   10:57 AM PDT
 
+100 RT @Lifejoy: +1 RT @editor_in_chic: I LOVE YOU, Ve.
Pristi
July 24, 2010   03:02 AM PDT
 
Hillarious!
Maybe you should add:
LOL/ROTFL/LMAO (v) : 1. Acronym people use on soc med as respond to something (supposedly) funny 2. never really happen in real life
Nadin
July 27, 2010   03:45 AM PDT
 
This is truly hilarious. Actually I'm working on a thesis about Twitter and it really helps for a reference. I footnoted this. Thanks Ve!
prinindya
August 6, 2010   10:28 PM PDT
 
bung ve, your tweet is the best. very witty and true. Nunggu-nunggu tweetmu tiap hari, bisa bikin senyum-senyum sendiri pas bosan di kantor I really adore your writting skill! Kemarin beli elle yang fashion blogger itu, mau baca tentang evita si bocah ajaib itu, agak kecewa, sedikit banget ulasannya, tapi kutipan dia aja bisa ngalahin yang gede-gede ya, jujur and to point. she's like mini version of you. Dulu pernah baca tweetmu mau tampilin interview lengkapnya, ayo dong. penasaran soalnya.If she can draw smile in Ve's face it must be something good.
Miy
August 10, 2010   04:13 PM PDT
 
Hahaha.. this is hilarious! Thanks for sharing..

Love,
<a href="http://www.thepicnicgirl.com/">The Picnic Girl</a>
Namebhatialalit
August 19, 2010   10:34 PM PDT
 
good ones. need more of these
Neno
October 2, 2010   01:21 AM PDT
 
Hey, 'writer' is the only explanation that comes out right? Hahahaha.. :))
Louis Vuitton Monogram Bags
May 12, 2012   05:54 PM PDT
 
I like ANMJ on FB & just subscribed to the email feed! :),622138,http://www.blogdrive.com/apps/usercomment
yoaniverse
July 22, 2012   04:53 PM PDT
 
"Sex (n.): The result of Following, ReTweeting, and getting the Direct Message" --> so the world has came to this.

*continue listening to the 'come blow my whistle' song playing on the radio'

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